Where 'The Rules' Fail

For the record, I believe The Rules work…per their definition of ‘work.’
The Rules is designed to help women develop and further their relationships with a specific type of man: a man who’s respectful and gentlemanly, who’s able to plan dates and take the lead, who can hold a conversation, who’s secure in himself, who adores you enough to pursue you, and who’s intuitive or at least clued in.

While that’s one great type of man and covers a large population of marriageable men, not all good men fit that role. Their opinion–which annoys me–is that if The Rules don’t work, either he just wasn’t that into you or he’s not marriage material. I disagree.

Where ‘The Rules’ Fail

For the record, I believe The Rules work…per their definition of ‘work.’
The Rules is designed to help women develop and further their relationships with a specific type of man: a man who’s respectful and gentlemanly, who’s able to plan dates and take the lead, who can hold a conversation, who’s secure in himself, who adores you enough to pursue you, and who’s intuitive or at least clued in.

While that’s one great type of man and covers a large population of marriageable men, not all good men fit that role. Their opinion–which annoys me–is that if The Rules don’t work, either he just wasn’t that into you or he’s not marriage material. I disagree.

What are 'The Rules'?

Note to the Orthodudes: The Orthogals do not necessarily approve of or use The Rules, but they are worth mentioning. This is just a summary–we promise, there is a critique to follow.

It is, they say, old wisdom passed down from Grandma, who had “more proposals than shoes.”
I don’t know about your grandmother, but mine was an abrasive Irish-American from south Chicago whose hobby was making politicians cry. She didn’t play by any rules, much less The Rules. Then again, none of the politicians ever proposed.

We’re not talking about general rules of life. That’s far beyond my pay grade. No, The Rules is a dating advice book published by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider in 1995. It made a big splash in its day–changed the conversation, really–and it’s likely a book that we’ll be referring to from time to time. Not so much because it’s the awesomest thing ever, but because it’s…on to something.

I have some major objections to The Rules. And the book will make your inner feminist throw tantrums. But it’s worth taking a look at nonetheless.

What are ‘The Rules’?

Note to the Orthodudes: The Orthogals do not necessarily approve of or use The Rules, but they are worth mentioning. This is just a summary–we promise, there is a critique to follow.

It is, they say, old wisdom passed down from Grandma, who had “more proposals than shoes.”
I don’t know about your grandmother, but mine was an abrasive Irish-American from south Chicago whose hobby was making politicians cry. She didn’t play by any rules, much less The Rules. Then again, none of the politicians ever proposed.

We’re not talking about general rules of life. That’s far beyond my pay grade. No, The Rules is a dating advice book published by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider in 1995. It made a big splash in its day–changed the conversation, really–and it’s likely a book that we’ll be referring to from time to time. Not so much because it’s the awesomest thing ever, but because it’s…on to something.

I have some major objections to The Rules. And the book will make your inner feminist throw tantrums. But it’s worth taking a look at nonetheless.